Suicide complexities often require peer help to gain insight to grief and mourning process

July 7, 2020

Grief and mourning are not the same thing. Perhaps you have noticed that people tend to use the words “grieving” and “mourning” interchangeably. There is an important distinction, however. It is alsothe case if someone you love has committed suicide.

We as humans move toward integrating loss into our lives not just by grieving, but by mourning. You will move toward reconciliation not just by grieving, but through active and intentional mourning.

Grief is the constellation of internal thoughts and feelings we have when someone we love dies. Think of grief as a box. It holds your thoughts, feelings, and images of your experience when you are bereaved. In other words, grief is the internal meaning given to the experience of loss.

Mourning is when you take the grief you have on the inside and express it outside of yourself. Another way of defining mourning is “grief gone public” or “the outward expression of grief.”

Talking about the person who died, crying, expressing your thoughts and feelings through art or music, and celebrating special anniversary dates that held meaning for the person who died are just a few examples of mourning.

Warning: After someone you love has completed suicide, your friends may encourage you to keep your grief to yourself. If you were to take this message to heart, the disastrous result would be that all of your thoughts and feelings would stay neatly bottled up inside you.

A catalyst for healing, however, can only be created when you develop the courage to mourn publicly, in the presence of understanding, compassionate people who will not judge you. At times, of course, you will grieve alone, but expressing your grief outside of yourself is necessary if you are to slowly and gently move forward in your grief journey. At Martenson Family of Funeral Homes We pledge to be a professional resource for the benefit of the entire community and accept this unique responsibility to honor the dignity of life, to aid the family in time of grief and to encourage remembrance with each family within its own traditions, culture and financial means.

Toll Free Suicide Loss Helpline: 1-800-646-7322 There are many resources that provide coping strategies with death by suicide. Some include returning to work, communicating with children, and guidelines for schools.

The Alliance of Hope is for suicide loss survivors. This organization reminds people that they are not alone in their loss. Their website includes an online forum where survivors can connect, resources for those who just lost someone to suicide, and a blog with helpful information about suicide loss

The Friends for Survival organization is unique because all of its staff and volunteers have been directly impacted by suicide. They have several publications, a monthly newsletter, and a suicide loss helpline — all resources to help your families.

Creating Personalized Funeral Services
December 4, 2024
Personalized Merchandise : Offering personalized merchandise can provide attendees with keepsakes that remind them of their loved one. Custom printed memorial bookmarks, candles, or photo books featuring cherished moments can serve as lasting mementos. You could also consider unique items like custom jewelry containing a portion of the deceased's ashes or engraved with their handwriting. Interactive Memory Stations : Setting up stations where attendees can share their favorite memories or write messages can foster a sense of community and shared remembrance. You could provide a memory tree where guests can hang notes or photos, or a digital photo booth to capture heartfelt moments and messages during the service. Unique Tributes : Consider incorporating elements that reflect the individual’s hobbies or achievements. For an avid gardener, you might hand out packets of their favorite seeds or plant a memorial tree. For a sports enthusiast, displaying memorabilia and encouraging guests to wear team colors can create a sense of unity and celebration. Digital Tributes : Embracing technology can add a modern touch to traditional services. Live streaming the service allows distant friends and family to participate. Creating a tribute website or social media page where people can share stories, photos, and condolences helps keep the memory alive long after the service. By thoughtfully incorporating these creative elements, you can craft a funeral service that truly honors the life and legacy of your loved one, providing solace and connection for all who attend.
August 30, 2024
Life Is a Journey By Alvin Fine Birth is a beginning and death a destination; But life is a journey. A going, a growing from stage to stage: From childhood to maturity and youth to old age. From innocence to awareness and ignorance to knowing; From foolishness to discretion and then perhaps, to wisdom. From weakness to strength or strength to weakness and often back again. From health to sickness and back we pray, to health again. From offense to forgiveness, from loneliness to love, From joy to gratitude, from pain to compassion. From grief to understanding, from fear to faith; From defeat to defeat to defeat, until, looking backward or ahead: We see that victory lies not at some high place along the way, But in having made the journey, stage by stage, a sacred pilgrimage. Birth is a beginning and death a destination; But life is a journey, a sacred pilgrimage, Made stage by stage...To life everlasting. Additional Thoughts... Death, Dying, Dead…words we try not to use as they are so final, yet they are the reality of a life lived. It is exactly what we need to do as we journey live our lives to the fullest possible. Death is the final frontier, yet we try so hard to hide from it as if it will never come. Yet it is in our daily lives. A seed from a flower enters the earth, it sits beneath the surface of the soil, patiently waiting. Yet does the seed know it is alive? It knows exactly what to do, it takes in nutrients from the earth, slowly but surely establishing roots. As the roots grow deeper into the earth a stem and leaves push their way above. The tender leaves feel the warmth of the sun pushing further. The rain comes and nurtures the tiny seedling, it drinks in the cool water and continues to grow. The sun, the rain continues to grow reaching higher as if forms leaves, and buds that continue into beautiful flowers. The flowers feed the bees; mankind notices its beauty for a fleeting moment in a face paced world. The flower continues to smile and knows one day its life will be over, it knows it has fulfilled its purpose. The sunny days grow shorter, the nights are cooler the bees visit less often. The flowers begin to fade, and seed pods begin to form. The once beautiful plant looks a bit tired; its leaves have begun to brown and fall. Yet it continues to smile knowing it still has purpose its seeds will be the next generation.
Benefits of Funeral Pre planning
August 9, 2024
Show you care by Pre Planning Funeral pre planning is a thoughtful and compassionate act that can significantly ease the burden on your loved ones during a difficult time. By making arrangements in advance, you provide your family with clear guidance and reduce the emotional and financial stress they might otherwise face. Here are some key benefits and steps involved in funeral pre planning:
Grief and Children
May 31, 2024
Losing a loved one is an incredibly challenging experience, and when children are involved, it becomes even more complex. As parents or caregivers, we want to support our children through grief and help them navigate their emotions. Here are some tips to handle grief and loss of a loved one when you have small children:
February 29, 2024
What makes the day trips unique? Who are they for? What do those who have went on one of the day trips have to say?
November 3, 2023
When attending a funeral or a visitation think before you speak. Why you may wonder or even ask why this is important. Think of how you felt when you learned of the death of someone you cared so deeply about. Your mind went through many things at the moment of learning of the death. Why? Why now and not later? It can’t be true! My heart hurts. I can’t live without him or her. What do I do now? It is an act of kindness to express your sympathies after a person dies, but what do you say? Common things are, I am sorry for your loss, Please accept my condolences, or sometimes just being present and listening, truly listening is more valuable than any spoken word can be. One has to understand a person has just suffered a loss, that at times may be devastating to the person or family and friends. It does not matter how long the person may have lived, it may have been ninety years, forty, thirty or even ten or a matter of moments. Under any circumstances do not diminish the value of a life. The person mattered to those who are grieving. Consider this a woman has carried a child for nine months and the child is still born or days after birth the child dies. Both parents feel the anguish of the loss as well as the family. A young woman’s life is taken by murder, those who loved and cared about her feel the loss. A wife suffers the loss of her husband to a heart attack after more than fifty years of marriage. A child riding his bike is struck by a car and dies. What do all of these have in common other than the fact that they have died? Each of them along with their family and friends had hopes, dreams, memories and a plan for the future. Be sensitive to the needs of those grieving and think about what you may say to those suffering a loss.
Tell Your Story
August 9, 2023
I wouldn’t consider myself a historian or even a history buff, but I do enjoy history and the telling of stories. The one fascinating part of all of it is this none of us where there at the time the events happened know exactly what happened. At this moment you’re wondering what this is all about. It’s about you the one who is reading this and saying to yourself what is this man talking about? History? Yes, your history and your life story is what this is all about. Have you ever sat with family members a parent, grandparent, aunt or uncle and listened to them? I mean really listened to what they are saying. I’ll explain further in a moment, but first a back story.
May 8, 2023
Native American Poem
December 5, 2022
They come every year whether we like it or not. The “official” start of the holiday season being Thanksgiving. Yet, does grief increase at this time of the year, or is just more noticeable to any of us who are grieving a loss. In reality grief is always with us we tend to keep it to ourselves and try not to let others know we are still feeling the loss even years later of someone we cared deeply about.
More Posts